I have become one with the Poo

and the pee, and the puke, and the boogers. Really all of it. I know I have mentioned this before but really poop talk is always funny and a major part of my interaction with Avery that I can place into words. Just 5 minutes ago, I saw a little boogey hanging, and without a thought I picked my daughter's nose. Yes, you read that right, I picked my daughter's nose. I understand there are those that have lost all respect for me (football teammates, college drinking buddies, etc.) in that one sentence. I'm sure there are a thousand mothers, including my own, that performed a collective "ahhhh" when hearing it. I sit somewhere in the middle, complacent and apathetic as to what has happened. It is a bit like the turning of the tides or the rising of the sun, simply an inevitable conclusion to my self respect.

As for the three "p's" (poop, puke, and pee), my gorgeous little daughter has performed the hat trick on me. I was sitting there watching TV with her on my lap when she goes from her cute little smile to a lovely puke right on my khaki shorts, then right back to the cute little smile. When I picked her up, I noticed she had also slipped a bit of poo out of the side of her diaper onto my shorts. I decided this was an appropriate time for a bath, so I take her into the changing table and take off her diaper and whilst I take her to the bathtub... she went ahead and peed on me too. This is where, the "deep end" comes into play. After being excreted on through three different orifices within a span of 5 minutes, I laughed, probably harder than I ever laughed before. And I was starting to worry Nichole might pee herself too because she was laughing so hard!

Just to reinforce my point, the other night she was leaning on my shoulder when she "spit up" (I know; sounds nicer that way doesn't it). I just moved her to the other shoulder with little to no regard as to the contents of her stomach on my clothes, and she proceeded to go ahead and slip another poop right out the side of her diaper, directly on to my bare arm. Again, this is another display of my complete insanity... but I half hoped she would pee too. You know just to hit the hat trick again.