I have become one with the Poo

and the pee, and the puke, and the boogers. Really all of it. I know I have mentioned this before but really poop talk is always funny and a major part of my interaction with Avery that I can place into words. Just 5 minutes ago, I saw a little boogey hanging, and without a thought I picked my daughter's nose. Yes, you read that right, I picked my daughter's nose. I understand there are those that have lost all respect for me (football teammates, college drinking buddies, etc.) in that one sentence. I'm sure there are a thousand mothers, including my own, that performed a collective "ahhhh" when hearing it. I sit somewhere in the middle, complacent and apathetic as to what has happened. It is a bit like the turning of the tides or the rising of the sun, simply an inevitable conclusion to my self respect.

As for the three "p's" (poop, puke, and pee), my gorgeous little daughter has performed the hat trick on me. I was sitting there watching TV with her on my lap when she goes from her cute little smile to a lovely puke right on my khaki shorts, then right back to the cute little smile. When I picked her up, I noticed she had also slipped a bit of poo out of the side of her diaper onto my shorts. I decided this was an appropriate time for a bath, so I take her into the changing table and take off her diaper and whilst I take her to the bathtub... she went ahead and peed on me too. This is where, the "deep end" comes into play. After being excreted on through three different orifices within a span of 5 minutes, I laughed, probably harder than I ever laughed before. And I was starting to worry Nichole might pee herself too because she was laughing so hard!

Just to reinforce my point, the other night she was leaning on my shoulder when she "spit up" (I know; sounds nicer that way doesn't it). I just moved her to the other shoulder with little to no regard as to the contents of her stomach on my clothes, and she proceeded to go ahead and slip another poop right out the side of her diaper, directly on to my bare arm. Again, this is another display of my complete insanity... but I half hoped she would pee too. You know just to hit the hat trick again.

Working Mom- Week 1...

I just finished my first week as a working mom and boy am I glad to only be part-time for the first few weeks! Not only do I get to sleep in a little and have extra time to get the two of us ready in the morning, but I also only have two different classes to prepare for (I'm teaching three classes a day, but my afternoon classes are the same). Anyway, here are some of the highlights from the week:

1. Daycare: Avery goes to Tammy who lives two minutes from work and only watches one other little girl who's about 18 months. She came highly recommended by several of my colleaguees and, since we didn't really have a Plan B (not really our style) and she's willing to use the cloth diapers, we decided to go with her. I got to her house an hour early on Monday to spend a little more time with Avery and to go over some of the things we had talked about when I visited before break. I was a little worried about how it would be leaving her there the first time, but it was just fine. It definitely helped knowing that I would only be gone a few hours (it's actually 5 hours, but in my mind it's only a few hours) and knowing that she was in good hands. It was also nice that it was just Avery (Lily was sick Monday and Tuesday), so I knew that she would get plenty of attention. So far Avery has done really well with Tammy, and she's made a new friend! Lily gets excited when I bring Avery in the morning, and she likes to help and play with Avery during the day. Plus she gives Avery pats and kisses when we leave- it's pretty cute!

2. Pumping: Let me just say that this whole working thing would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't pumping- it would also be a whole lot less interesting ;) I read a few things about preparing to go back to work while breastfeeding and wish I would've followed the advice about practicing pumping outside of the home (again, not really my style). I asked my colleague who's been pumping the whole year where she pumps, and she said the place she's found to be the best is the teacher bathroom in our wing. When lunch rolled around on Monday, I grabbed my fancy pump case and headed to the bathroom. My plan was to pump for about 15 minutes, which would still give me 15 minutes to eat lunch (I considered eating in the bathroom, but then thought that was pretty gross). What I failed to consider is that it takes time to set up the pump and take it apart and store the milk when I'm finished.

Anyway, I get to the bathroom Monday and it's cold, awkward, and there's no place to sit (apparently there had been a chair in there before that my colleague had used, but it was not there on Monday). I try to set up my pump as quickly as possible, which really just leads to me knocking things over and taking more time to set up than if I would have just gone slowly. Once I get everything ready to go, I lift my sweater (not the best choice of clothes for the occasion) and get started. So, here I am, standing in the middle of the bathroom with my sweater pulled up, holding two milking-machines to my boobs, and hoping that nobody comes in (fortunately I'd be able to hear the key if they tried, but still) or that nobody hears the sucking noises coming from the bathroom. When I finish, I pour the milk into the clear freezer bag, pack it away in the gray storage bag, and then proceed to drip breastmilk all over the floor, shelf, and my fancy carrying case as I disassemble the pump- awesome. I get myself put back together, clean up the milk, and get to the lunchroom with about 8 minutes left to eat.

On Tuesday, I decided to be a little bit smarter about things and wore better clothes, assembled my pump before packing it away in its case so I didn't have to spend time setting it up, and grabbed a chair before going into the bathroom. Things went much more smoothly and I got to the lunchroom with a whole 10 minutes to spare! At this rate, I figured I'd have a 15-minute lunch by Wednesday. Boy was I wrong! Everything was going fine on Wednesday until I heard a bell ring. I was in the middle of pumping, so of course I panicked! I tried to pack up as quickly as possible and not only did I knock over the bag of milk, spilling it everywhere, but I got the zipper on my vest stuck. I cleaned up and rushed to the lunchroom trying to fix my vest along the way. When I got there, I realized that I had plenty of time to eat- we're on a different schedule on Wednesdays, so the bell I heard didn't pertain to me. By this time, I was ready to bag the whole pumping thing and just buy formula, but formula is expensive and I'm cheap! I decided a better route would be to find a different place to pump where I would be more comfortable and able to eat my lunch so I wouldn't feel rushed. I talked to one of the secretaries and I now have a nice private office to do my business :)

3. Routine: I've realized that in order to make this whole working mom thing work, I have to be very organized and follow a pretty strict routine. It's starts with getting us both ready in the morning. I shower, get dressed, get her dressed, head downstairs to make breakfast and lunch, feed her, make sure my pump and the diaper bag are ready to go, take all of my stuff for school to the car, then take Avery and the diaper bag to the car. When we get home, Mark comes down to the car to get her and the diaper bag so I can carry the rest of my stuff. He plays with her for awhile while I clean my pump, freeze the milk, check and restock the diaper bag if necessary, make sure we have enough clean diaper covers and wash a load if we don't, and get my lunch ready for the next day (I pack everything but my sandwich the night before so I have less to do in the morning). When I'm done with all of that, we eat, give Avery a bath (if it's bath night), and relax on the couch until it's time to do it all over again!